Episode IX - Tigralicious

A ram-blastin' episode is comin' at you tonight, true believers! The Comic Book Haters (unfortunately joined by Cappy) give a hate-session on Pete Bagge's post-apocalyptic masterpiece, "Apocalypse Nerd." Download it right here, or forever live in a pool of regret.

Have a Hater as Your Buddy

You can now chat with one of the Comic Book Haters, who are taking advantage of the mid-90's technological craze known as "Instant Messaging." Join DJ Sloofus and Schooly G in their online alter-egos as ComicBookHater1 and ComicBookHater2, respectively. Get in on the fun before they get tired of it and delete the program!

Episode VIII - Fruitless Endeavors

Cappy will be sorely missed, or at least sore. He shall return at some point, but for today the hating must focus on another worthy topic: the Top Ten limited series, "Beyond the Farthest Precinct." Like a turd in a punchbowl, this fiasco reeks of putrid pus poured over Alan Moore's original masterpiece. Hate along with the haters on this travesty of a 'tribute.' Intrigued listeners are advised to check here for the latest episode.

Unsolicited Advances

The CBH crew are planning a special "Holiday"episode, and they need your help. As a treat to all of our fan (yes, that's singular), we're going to devote an entire episode to 'listener questions.' Please email any questions to thecomicbookhaters@yahoo.com which you demand answers for. We promise to answer every single question, though not neccessarily truthfully.

Haters Generate Press

IRON CITY, KR Hard as it may be seem to believe, the Comic Book Haters recently incurred the wrath of none other than Perry "Chief" White, publisher of internationally-recognized newspaper The Daily Planet. It seems the frosted-one took offense at our liberal thrashing of the nation's savior, Superman, and his recent exploits as told by Mssrs. Morrison and Quitely. While we can't argue with Mr. White's logic, we can question the integrity of a newsman who employs a female as his primary reporter. Here's a scoop for you, 'chief' (if that is your real nickname), slap an apron on that hussy and get her back into the kitchen where she belongs. Read the editorial from the Planet's weekend edition here.

Death, Thy Name is Cappy

Cappy's exploits continue to generate hatred, as evidenced in this letter from Prime-Fan Rick R:

I have to say, not your best show. I put all the blame squarely on the narrow shoulders of Cappy. The guy just rubs me the wrong way. I ain't buying what the Cappy is selling. My Cambodian mail order wife agrees with me and she doesn't understand a word of English. At least I think she agrees with me.

I tried to email Cappy directly, but his email address " AssReamer66@aol.com" keeps bouncing. His email account is most likely filled to the gills with pictures of male on male gay Eastern European homosexual porn. I don't know if you can tell, but I really don't like Cappy. He sucks the life force out of the show. Not that he is any stranger to the concept of sucking while in the company of other men. You guys don't need him.

Rick

Your #1 Fan

P.S. - Cappy sucks.

Though his sexuality has never before been in question, Rick does seem to present an airtight case. The tally, to date: Anti-Cappy votes: 3; Pro-Cappy votes: nil. Will anyone speak on behalf of this unloveable frump?

Crappy Chappy "Cappy" Makes Fans Unhappy

A virtual torrent of backlash has been foisted upon the CBH offices since the introduction of controversial new character "Cappy." Cappy's debut on Friday led to an instantaneous influx of hate-fueled missives, each more venemous than the last. Listener Bill A. writes in, saying:

Great podcast, but why mess with perfection?Introducing Cappy seems a little like "Siskel & Ebert" adding Roeper before Siskel dies. Or maybe it's like INXS adding another lead singer before Michael Hutchence performs fatal auto erotic asphyxiation.There's a delicate balance to the "comic book haters" biosphere that I fear is being compromised by foreign, if well meaning, contaminates.

B.

On behalf of all our listeners who have supported us on our long struggle to the bottom (from the lower bottom), we'd like to issue an apology. Truly, we were all reminded of our own mortality on this day.

Episode VII - A New Bloke

The Comic-Book Haters love The Walking Dead volume one.
Well, perhaps "love" is too strong of a word, but the zombie-centric comic did go over pretty well. That doesn't mean it didn't get its fair share of hating. We are only human, after all. Cold, dark, shallow humans who must destroy the hard work of others in an attempt to build up our own wilting self-esteem. Speaking of which, the CBH crew is joined by "Cappy," an irritating meddler who knows less than Schooly G about comics. We're planning on "killing him off" in a future episode. Don't click right here if you aren't going to listen to it. Please address your hate mail to thecomicbookhaters@yahoo.com.

Episode VI - Servicing the Uninterested

All-Star Superman? Who the fuck are they kidding? That hippie Morrison needs to dry out a little and try to write a comic with an actual plot. Quitely needs to just shut the fuck up, too. Half his characters look retarded, and the other half are supposed to look retarded but don't. As for the Books of Doom by Ed Brubaker, he was much better when he was writing and drawing comics about doing meth and stealing computers. He's still pretty cool, though. Download some more 'insights' on these two comics right over here.

Special thanks to the Rob Weiss Studios for the outrageous graphic accompaniements.

Episode V - For the Pleasure of None

All of our 'fans' had one piece of constructive criticism in common: stoop drinking. Listen, if years of nagging coupled with psychiatric bills (neither of which we've experienced) haven't gotten us to stop, what makes you think your crummy emails were going to make a difference? Bearing that in mind, we got drunk and listened to some really shitty Marvel comics from the 1980s. Fan favorite Moon Knight makes a rare experience. Click here to download the goddam thing.

Hating By Demand

Several (one) of our listeners have written in, requesting that we hate on various comics or comic creators in particular. Time constraints obviously prevent us from hating on all requested items on the 'air,' so I'd like to take a moment to address these particular personages and titles right now:

1. Kevin Smith: "Chasing Amy" and "Mallrats" rocked, but what the fuck is up with "Jersey Girl"? That movie has got to be the worst piece of shit that I ever rented, burned a copy of, and never got around to watching. Also, what's with all the gay jokes? Go out and smoke a pole already, Smith; the world knows you're half homo. He did make some good ass movies, though. He gets minimal amounts of Hating.

2. Jack Kirby/The Black Racer: First of all, no one talks smack on the King when I'm in town. Having said that, what was in Kirby's cigar when he came up with this character? And what's up with so many 70's comic characters naming themselves the "Black" something or other? I'm all for putting whitey in his place, but let's try to infuse a little creativity here. I don't walk around calling myself the "Caucasian Podcast Host," and mainly because I don't want anyone to know I'm associated with this piece of shit. Last time I checked, Kirby's name was all over the New Gods. Fuck the Black Racer; Kirby rules.

Email us with your requests. There's a world of hating out there.

Episode IV - The Wrath of Bendis

Avengers Dissassembled wreaked havoc with our server. Especially since we don't have a server. Anyway, at long last, here's episode 4. The comic is late, the podcast is late, and it's a huge file. What else do you want for nothing? Enjoy the show. Click here to download it.

Episode IV - Avengers Dissassembled!

The comic has been out for over a year now, but it's time for the Comic Book Haters to trash Avengers #500. Also, listener mail and a special contest! Click here to download it.

Episode III

Here's Episode III, in case you missed it. Let me summarize it in a nutshell for you: Fuck House of M. Click here to download it.

Episode III

Infinite Crisis may be a halfway decent title, but House of M sure sucked ass. Find out why in the latest episode. Click here to download.

The Fanmail Comes Pouring In!

We've received our first piece of fanmail, from Rampagin' Rick R. Rick hails from Internetsville, USA, and had nothing but complimentary things to say about the show.

Unlike those who 'reviewed' our show on the internet archive, Rick is not a thinly-disguised pseudonym created by one of the 'Haters.' He's a real, flesh and blood being (of upstanding merit) who obviously has some internal issues which need working out a bit. Thanks for the kind words, Rick, but for God's sake, get some help.

Episode 2! Now with 20% more viscidity!

Click here to download!

The first episode has been uploaded to iTunes, and is currently pending approval from their staff of experts. If you weren't able to download it from our feedburner site, check back in a little while. All the bugs are currently being worked out.

-Sloofus

Download it Now!

Our first episode is up, ready to be downloaded. Do yourself a favor and give it a try. What the hell else are you going to listen to? Some shitty album that either already sucks or started sucking fifteen years ago? A bootleg from some craphole of some shitbag loser? Fuck all them. Listen to the Comic Book Haters instead.

Greetings!

We have come to hate your comic books.

Prostrate yourselves to the majesty that is the first episode:

Click here to download the first episode.