Monday, November 27, 2006

Episode LXXIV - These Aren't the Creeps You're Looking For

Now that the Solocast (tm) fiasco is behind us, the CBH crew takes a moment to reflect back on their history changing performances. Most agree that the artform will never be the same again, and the virtual wall of emails stands testament to this boisterous and unsubstantiated claim. In theory, anyway. Join Schooly, Sloofus, Cappy and Umbrellaman for a fresh look at their award winning creations, but first things first: a review of Steve Ditko's classic "Beware...the CREEPER." Also, a new segment designed to appease the onslaught of music fans who have been deluging us with requests. Click here to be part of a winning team.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Schooly G Performance Creates Controversey; "N Word" Uttered

Atlantic City, NJ - Celebrity Schooly G is in trouble once again after he exploded in anger at a comedy club in Atlantic City last week, hurling insults at a pair of male hecklers who were apparently wearing comic book, "super-hero" themed t-shirts.

Schooly G, who rose to fame on the internet podcast The Comic Book Haters, appeared onstage at the Yuk Palace trying to regain ground after his disastrous solocast the previous week. Schooly began his attack shortly into his first set, screaming at one of the men, "Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f***ing Jughead comic up your ass."

The crowd was visibly and audibly shocked but an enraged Schooly continued on, "You can talk, you can talk, you're brave now motherf**ker. Throw his comic book reading, nerd ass out. He's a nerd! He's a nerd! He's a nerd! A nerd, look, there's a nerd!"

Some of the audience began to leave at this point but Schooly responded by saying "They're going to arrest me for calling a comic book loser a nerd." Eventually someone in the crowd replied: "It's not funny. That's why you're a reject, never had no podcasts, never had
no funnybooks. `The Comic Book Haters,' that's it." Schooly G performed the next night at the Yuk Palace without incident.

Calls to his representatives were not returned Monday. The Comic Book Haters camp are expected to make an official statement later this week, however, founding member DJ Sloofus had this to say when confronted at a local funnybook store which he claimed to abandon long ago: "It was bound to happen sooner or later. I mean the guy has problems...he's a self loathing, funnybook fan who just won't admit it...did I mention he's also gay?"

British comic book author and CBH whipping boy Warren Ellis told our British affiliate "Good...that wanker had it coming...F*** Schooly G!"

Prop comic Carrot Top, who followed Schooly G that evening, remarked that "Using the N word like that just isn't funny...when you call someone a comic book reading n**d it's hurtful...lots of people enjoy comics, but rubbing it in by saying something like that is just crossing the line." After the incident Carrot Top tried to lighten the mood by by doing a bit about Schooly's mom aided by a trash can prop.
Newsbrief courtesy of Umbrella Press Services, inc.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

CBH Solocast Controversey: Cappy Happy due to Inevitable Relapsey?

INTERNET, Atlantic City: In a shocking turn of events, it has come to our attention that something may indeed be foul in the state of Jersey. On the eve of the CBH Solocast voting polls, it has been rumored that one of the members may have relied upon illegal, performance-enhancing drugs during the production of their episode.
Beloved roustabout Cappy, a naivish waif better known for his misguided attempts at wooing museum tour guides than his expertise within the realm of podcasting, recently shocked the world with a ballot-shattering Solocast submission. Unsubstantiated rumors stemming from the Schooly G camp are implying that Cappy could quite possibly have used steroids to achieve his high results.
Drug testing within the CBH world has previously been handled under the "Don't Ask, Don't Bogart" clause, a rather lenient policy which may need to be rectified for future endeavors. "I hope to God he didn't do something stupid," said CBH co-founder DJ Sloofus. "When I sober up, I'm going to sit down and have a stern talking with that young man. Or maybe one of the young bitches that lives near him, at least." CBH News will provide updates to this story as they become available.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Solocasts: Vote!

All four of the Comic Book Haters' solocasts are in, and each is awaiting your precious vote. Swing on over to the Comic Book Haters' very own forum, and be sure to cast your vote for your favorite submission within the thread titled "Solocasts." As of press time, Cappy is winning with 71% of the votes, (with a +/-71% margin of error), but it's still anyone's ballgame. Series cohosts DJ Sloofus and Schooly are trailing with a respectable 0% margin split between the two. Umbrellaman, exercising his own God given ability to vote, has ensured himself 21% of the polls.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Solocast 4: Cappy

Solocast #4: Cappy "The H. Earl Clack Museum" Created, written, performed and produced by Cappy. Click here for the episode.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Solocast 3: Schooly G

Solocast #3: Schooly G "Untitled" Created, written, performed and produced by Schooly G. Click here for the episode.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Solocast 2: DJ Sloofus

Solocast #2: DJ Sloofus "Lifestyles of the Richest Comic Book Haters: Bookmark Edition." Created, written, performed and produced by DJ Sloofus. Click here to download the show.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Solocast 1: Umbrellaman

Solocast #1: Umbrellaman "The Comic Book Rater." Created, written, performed and produced by the Umbrellaman. Click here to download the show.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Episode LXXIII - A Voice from the Darkness..

Dark, silent, eternal space. Has ever man returned from her cold, hard grasp? Yes. One has. This is his story.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Solocast Production Impedes Schedule

In an effort to excuse themselves for tardiness, the Comic Book Haters have elected to utilize the "Production Overload" defense. As noted in the bylaws, this movement empowers the aggressor with one solid, unquestionable excuse. No one may speak of this ever again, and anyone retaining memories of this event will be rectified at a future point. Otherwise, game play continues as normal. Can Cappy Hour be far behind?
CBH archival photography courtest of the Jason Crane Show.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

CBH Crew Debuts Newest Sensation: The Solocast

INTERNET, Atlantic City: In just over a week’s time, the world will bare witness to the inaugural launching of the Comic Book Haters: Solocast series. Planned as a tie-in to the popular comic book podcast’s one year anniversary, the concept is a simple one: each member will branch out on their own for one episode, freeing them to tackle concepts and subject matter of a more ‘personal’ nature. Series co-hosts DJ Sloofus, Schooly G and Umbrellaman will each independently record and produce an episode of their own devising. The concept is similar to the popular 1977 KISS solo albums, without actually ripping them off.
“That’s just one of the many surprises we’ve got planned,” explained DJ Sloofus. “We’re also talking about chips and snacks, balloons, and I think we might even get a smoke machine.”
Over the course of the past year, the CBH podcast has produced over 70 episodes, 8 celebrity interviews, various specials, is continually spotlighted as a "Featured" podcast on iTunes, and has generated singles of fan-produced emails.
Speaking of the format for the Solocasts, “There are no rules,” says Sloofus, “except, I think we all agreed, ‘No Cursing.’” Conversely, Schooly G responded with “Fuck that shit.” The Solocasts are scheduled to air the week of November 12th. Check local listings, or refer to iTunes for more information.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Outside the Comic Book Haters' Studio #8: Jimmie Robinson

For our eigth installment of the CBH comic creator interview series, Schooly and Sloofus are pleased to present a converation with Jimmie Robinson, creator of BOMB QUEEN. The second volume is currently being published by Image comics, and inquisitive readers are directed towards the first collection for a cameo appearance by none other than Schooly G himself. The luscious lady of laceration is discussed, along with Jimmie's upcoming WHAT IF? special from Marvel (starring Wolverine) and other pertinent issues. Click here to gain admittance to the show, and afterwards why not simply wander over to Mr. Robinson's very own information-heavy website.

Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.5 License.