Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Episode CLIII - "Umbrellaman drinks a beer and some other people hang out"

This episode is Umbrellicious, with not three, not four, not five, but only one spotlighted tune from the nation's latest craze, the Umbrellaman Players Express. Right here is the only place you can hear their brand new cut, "Theme from Beer." True, you have to trudge through fifteen minutes or so of pure crap to get to it, but believe us, it's worth the wait. Or is it? Depends on how long you're waiting, really. B/W reviews of "Osamu Tezuka's 'Blackjack'" volume one, and another one of those retarded Star Wars contests. The track is dropping right here, right now!


Anonymous angry comixman said...

That Umbrellaman has no conscience and therefore no feelings of guilt for wanting to irrationalize thinking on every issue -- must rank as one of the most abominable disinformation campaigns in comic book history. By way of introduction, let me just say that he has a talent for inventing fantasy worlds in which the Universe belongs to him by right. Then again, just because Umbrellaman is a prolific fantasist doesn't mean that he has achieved sainthood. His attempts to substitute pap for art are much worse than mere incendiarism. They are hurtful, malicious, criminal behavior and deserve nothing less than our collective condemnation.

Following this line of logic, it would appear that Umbrellaman insists that his listeners are screaming for his childish images. This fraud, this lie, is just one among the thousands he perpetrates. His subliminal psywar campaigns are in every respect consistent with the school of shiftless thought that tends to replace our timeless traditions with his recalcitrant ones.

To state it in stark and simple terms, if I were a complete sap, I'd believe Umbrellaman's line that he is as innocent as a newborn lamb who likes to drink a beer now and then. Unfortunately for him, I realize that Umbrellaman will probably throw another hissy fit if we don't let him convince meddlesome, impractical yobbos that there is absolutely nothing they can do to better their lot in life besides joining him. At least putting up with another Umbrellaman hissy fit is easier than listening to Schooly G's tired observations on comic books which he claims he dislikes. With my assistance, you'll soon gain a deep understanding of how once you cut through the bravado, misconceptions, and ignorance, you'll find that Umbrellaman's artistic claims would be absolutely risible if they weren't so shallow. One of the first facts we should face is that Umbrellaman's secret passion is to increase alienation and delinquency among our young people. For shame!

11/18/2008 11:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Christopher said...

Schooly G is a big asshole.

11/20/2008 12:06:00 AM  
Blogger Ryan O'Hara said...

Schooly, you should watch House. You and House have a lot in common.

11/21/2008 03:10:00 PM  
Blogger The Comic Book Haters said...

Is House "big" or an "asshole"? And do the similarities lie even deeper than that?

11/22/2008 12:03:00 AM  
Blogger Ryan O'Hara said...

He's an asshole. That's about it.

11/23/2008 08:14:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.5 License.