Monday, March 27, 2006

Good News for Cappy Fans!

Cappy fans, who have been holding candelight vigils across the country for several weeks, may soon have cause to breathe a sigh of relief. A frozen, marred and disfigured corpse of indeterminate sexuality was recently discovered in the arctic tundra. Since this description fits Cappy to a "T," authorities were notified immediately.
Upon a brief inspection, it was discovered that the corpse was carrying a small digital device, recorded upon which were several 'journal entries' by a man who referred to himself as....CAPPY!
The recordings were nearly inaudible, but a crack team of specialists are working 'round the clock (except from 4:30 to 6 p.m.) to recover the materials. Representatives from the Comic Book Haters organization declined to comment on the particulars of the transaction, though analysts estimate a three-figure deal was struck.

CBH Publisher Spotlight #1: Oddgod Press

An exciting new era in Comic Book Hating (tm) is upon us. Join your pals Schooly G, DJ Sloofus, and Umbrellaman as they take a look at the fine products being published by Oddgod Press. "Fine" is a relative term, of course, and should not be taken as any indication of the opinions expressed herein. In fact, Umbrellaman really hated on one of them. This, fellow connesseur of the better things in life, has been tailor-made with your particular tastes and tribes. Regardless, those intrigued by the foundationless opinions of complete strangers might enjoy following this link.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Episode XLII - It Ain't Easy Being Mean

Fuck all y'all, it's St. Patrick's Day, bitches! What better way to celebrate it than with the Comic Book Haters! Journey to the land filled with magical greens, where strange imps run to and fro and the beer flows endlessly. No, it's not Ireland we speak of; it's the Funnybook Dungeon! True, the holiday was last weekend, but Schooly G, DJ Sloofus, and Umbrellaman are still celebrating! Here's your ticket to party with the big boys.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Schooly G to Leave CBH for Pulpier Pastures?

INTERNET, Atlantic City - Schooly G, one half of the venerable "Comic Book Haters" podcast, has recently been elevated to B-List celebrity status. G will be featured in an upcoming issue of Image Comics' popular "Bomb Queen" series, currently solicited in this month's PREVIEWS catalog.

In BOMB QUEEN #4, G portrays 'Angry Thug #3,' a role he claims was tailor made for his particular talents. "I've been turning down a lot of offers, just waiting around for the 'right' series," admits the usually taciturn Schooly G. "I read a lot of scripts, but nothing really stuck out too much. This character, though, really spoke to me."

So how will this affect the future of the Comic Book Haters? According to G, he doesn't have any plans to leave the podcast. At least, not yet: "I've got some ideas for the title which I'm going to run by [Bomb Queen Creator] Jimmy Robinson. Quite frankly, the character has gotten a little stale, so I'm hoping I can liven things up a bit."

According to CBH co-host DJ Sloofus, the rose-colored glasses may not be giving off quite the correct hue. "Fuck him," he revealed, "As a matter of fact, lots of people have been getting sick of him around CBH central. Plus, once we find Cappy (if he's still alive), we won't even need Schooly anymore. I think I might also give MC Trekkie a call."

Interested parties can pre-order Bomb Queen #4 from their local funnybook shop, or through the Discount Comic Book Service. Visit series creator Jimmy Robinson at this address.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Episode XLI - Tomorrow we Love...Today we Hate!

Cappy has gone missing! He hasn't been seen around the Comic Book Haters' offices since the debacle that was the MC Trekkie/Cappy debate. Though we aren't forming a search party anytime soon, we have located an 'unaired' Cappy-centric segment from the vaults of the CBH archives. Thrill to Cappy's exploits within the bowels of Loews Home Repair store, as he searches for blinds that match his couch. Sadly, we are not joking. Also, the Haters review Bruce Jones' latest travesty, WARLORD. Click here to listen, though you may want to skip this one.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Episode XL - Flattery is the Sincerest Form of Ripoff

Oh, Comic Book Fans, you've spokened and we've listeneden. A recent fictional survey revealed some alarmingly maleable statistics: Comic Podcast Fans love hate! Rather than settling for some second rate-hate, sit yourself down for an extra helpin' without all the whelpin'. Note to self: Delete previous sentence because it doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Done? Good. Regardless, Daddy's home and he's got a real Mad-On.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Episode XXXIX - A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to Deleting the Forum

Let's face it, the Comic Book Haters' recent breakup with their resident Super-Fan didn't leave anyone in a good mood. Now, for the first time ever, the CBH crew discuss what really happened. It's a special episode of "Behind the Hatred," as DJ Sloofus and Schooly G (marginally accompanied by the Groove Machine) tell all about this tragic occurence. All of the names have been changed to protect the participants, but you can pretty much figure out who everyone is. In the end, no one is innocent, but please feel free to cast brash and furious judgment upon whomever you see fit. Click here, check for the mail, go make a cup of coffee, and then return to the computer in a half hour to obtain the episode.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Episode XXXVIII - I Heart New York (With the Heart Crossed Out)

Much like the solemn 'Decade of Silence' which followed the ending of World War II, the New York Comic-Con has been marred by an eerie quietness. Only now are those who witnessed it beginning to speak up and tell their stories. DJ Sloofus is one such survivor, and in this episode he sits down with Schooly G and the venerable Groove Machine to relive this traumatic experience. Much time on this podcast is devoted to the delineated exploits of costumed do-gooders, but now the focus shifts to those brave souls who live among us. Our hearts are with you, DJ Sloofus, for you are truly a hero. Click here to hear, y'hear?

Thursday, March 02, 2006


To that same old place that you laughed about...

Welcome Back!

Old and Busted: Forum is down again. Fuck it; we're going back to our roots.

The new Hot Shit: The old forum is back. Check the link to the right or click here. Re-register. This one is guaranteed to be with us for the long run. All the same fun without any of the guilt. Long Live the New Forum!!!

Here's a tease for all you Haters out there: we have some Earth shattering news to announce soon... the interweb will never be the same...

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